Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Wendy over at Year of the Cats, introduced her readers to her friend 'Envy', yesterday. She shared a story about her mother that 'subdued' her natural muse. I wanted to share a meditation that I practiced to help heal some damage caused to my childhood-self by my maternal grandfather. It's been very helpful and empowering for me.
Close your eyes and picture the moment your mother accused you of copying that story as if your 'current-self' is a 3rd party standing across the room watching the scene between your 'past-mother' and your 'childhood-self'. Include every detail you can remember and freeze the 'frame' right after the moment your past-mother said those ugly words to childhood-you. Approach your mother as your current-self and tell her exactly what you think of her at that moment. Don't hold anything back! Express everything, no matter how ugly it might feel. When you’re done releasing that emotion, tell her that you no longer need her baggage and she (past-mother of that moment) can't be part of your life any more. Once that is done see her walking away and out of the scene.
Now, you have some apologizing to do. When this happened you allowed a part of yourself, your strength and imagination, to be left behind and trapped in that moment. So now, you have to bring her home. Approach your childhood-self. Look her in the eye and apologize to her with all your heart. Tell her how sorry you are that you left her behind. Let her know she is an important part of you and that it is time to come 'home'. This is where is gets difficult, and it may take a few tries to accomplish. Forgive yourself. It's that simple, and that complicated. You allowed this to happen to you and you left a part of your childhood trapped and unprotected, but it's OK now. You deserve to be forgiven. When you can do this, embrace your childhood-self and be whole again.
You will have to repeat this meditation for awhile before it works completely, and it won't be easy. It took me months with guidance, but eventually, I was able to let it go and let the old wounds heal. The good news is, you'll know when it happens and you won't need to go there anymore.
I hope this helps.

Monday, October 4, 2010

I'm Still Here!!

I'm sorry I haven't been able to post any thing in a month. I can't believe it's been that long. I'm still trying to blog, unfortunately, overtime and migraines have kept all non-essential activites at a stand still. I promise I'll post more later.
Thanks for your patience.